BY PATRICIA LEE, PARENTSTOP: Holiday time together as a family can lead to all sorts of drama – lost tempers, slammed doors, high pitched arguments, super sulks and grumbles.
But we are not talking about your teenagers. Most of us – parents, grandparents AND the younger generation – are guilty of losing our patience or temper with family members during the festive season.
Parentstop, a free and confidential parent support service in Donegal, has the following tips for communicating without fighting with family members:
-Be respectful: Ask all family members to respect each other and avoid speaking aggressively or in a way that is hurtful to others. If you have different beliefs or values, try to accept these differences.
-Listen: You don’t need to agree with other people’s opinion but do listen to them. Don’t show boredom when someone talks on a topic that isn’t of interest to you. Be patient, especially with older family members and younger children.
-Share: Christmas is about sharing and spending time together as a family. Don’t assume that you can have everything you want but do be clear about what is important to you.
-Open up: When discussing important issues, try to make your point clearly. Explain how you feel and why. Don’t expect others to know what is important to you if you don’t say it.
-Choose your moment: Think carefully about when it is best to discuss a difference of opinion or sensitive subject. Avoid doing so in front of others, or when either person has taken alcohol or is feeling stressed or tired.
-Walk away: If another family member speaks to you in a hurtful or unfair manner, walk away rather than resorting to a fight. However, if someone is abusive (emotionally, physically or sexually) there is support available: contact the Donegal Domestic Violence Service helpline 24 hours a day, on 1800-262677.
Speaking about good family communications, Parentstop Manager, Patricia Lee, added: “This can be a very stressful time for all members of the family trying to get things done at the last minute and then being all together over the Christmas week. If at all possible get everyone out into the fresh air at least once a day – it will burn off all kinds of energy! Try to avoid heat of the moment disagreements and if you see one starting take a deep breath and walk away to cool down and consider a compromise where possible.”
Parentstop is a free and confidential parent support service in Co. Donegal. Parentstop is here to help with any parenting challenges you are facing. If you want to ask a question, talk to someone in confidence, or see if you’re on the right track, then Parentstop is here to support you. There are no long waiting lists and the Parentstop team is available to talk to you once you make an appointment. With services in Donegal Town, Letterkenny and around Inishowen, one of our Parents Support Officers will meet you, listen to you and give you support and advice. Whatever your concern – let’s get it sorted together.
If you have family concerns and would like to speak to someone from Parentstop please phone:
074-9177249 for Letterkenny and surrounds
074 9373493 for Inishowen areas
086-8494038 for Donegal Town and surrounds
Parentstop is closed from Friday December 21st to January 7th 2013, however a call back can be arranged over this period if you leave a message. In addition parents are reminded about the national parent’s helpline Parentline on 1890927277.